I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
