if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
