Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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