He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
