I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
