I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
