Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
