What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
