i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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