what day is it and did you see me today?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
