Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
