Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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