best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
