It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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