she smelled like a LAN party
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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