I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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