he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
