grandma shit on top of the toilet
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
