Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
