I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I will pee on everything he values.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Randomize
