absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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