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So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
