fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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