Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
