shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
