Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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