This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
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