Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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