Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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