Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
