Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
