how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
