i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
