totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
