He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
