Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
