you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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