I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
