Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
