He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
