i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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