So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
