I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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