maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
