I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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