New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
