So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
