As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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