Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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