I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
